The Wheel Turns

Twenty years ago, the cricket stars were the GENTLEMEN, who used to play seasonal cricket and did have alternative careers. Today we see cricket as an emerging alternative career option with what all these young cricketers becoming role models for today’s youth. They participate in brandishing products, sporting fashionable looks, attractive hairdos, flaunting latest gizmos and define themselves as a perfect style icon apart from being aggressive at the field. What with the team comprising of youngsters, more and more young blood is being preferred vis-à-vis experience.

Earlier we had all the politicians who were some sixty years of age and had very little exposure to the actual progress going on in the world and the country was run on traditional policies resulting in more consumption than production in the economy as a whole. But now we have the “Lead India” movement initiated by the Times Of India which is inviting young aspiring India not only to be a part of the political mainstream but also to be a part of socially relevant projects.

Hence we see that the wheel is turning now. What was not acceptable in the yesteryears is becoming the talk of the town now. This is universal law. The wheel turns itself and takes 180 degrees turn. The participants become spectators and spectators step ahead to participate, the tormentor takes a backseat while the victim becomes vindictive. Numerous such examples can be found.

Pakistan has been facilitating the spread of terrorism on the Indian soil for centuries, providing logistics like weaponry, manpower, funds, intelligence, training camps etc. And now we are seeing a spate of terrorist activity and jihadist camps on the Pakistani soil, political instability, and finally emergency being declared there with the dissolution of the constitution. What Pakistan has been propagating for so many years in its neighborhood, is now surfacing in its own ambience. The resurfacing of the Taliban in its Frontier Province. The wheel has turned.

For years the Fairer Sex has been oppressed and tortured, but now we see more and more girls are coming forward taking up challenging opportunities dealing a crushing blow to the male ego. But slowly it has been accepted. The title of the “TORMENTOR” was ubiquitously attached with the Sterner Sex, and that of “VICTIM” with the Fairer Sex. But now we see the wheel turning as more and more husbands are coming up with horrifying tales of harassment at the hands of the police. judiciary and the legislative executive because of false and frivolous complaints of dowry harassment from their unscrupulous and vindictively vicious wives. What with popular and dignified news channel like IBN 7 showcasing such real life stories of tragedy and trauma on their program “Zindagi Live”. The wheel has turned.

Turn Man

All characters and incidents are real.

Finally the shit piece of code ran. Aah what a relief. All of us were so happy that we had not crossed our deadlines and now all we wanted is some relief. And no, we did not want to eat that pathetic food provided in the name of dinner in office. So pop came the idea from Yogesh, “Let’s go somewhere for dinner”. But every one of them had left, so I and Yogesh were left alone.

Me: “But there is one more problem, I don’t feel like driving my beast in this chilly Chandigarh Winter.”
Yogesh: “No problem buddy, we will go in my car, will drop you home and pick you up tomorrow morning as well. You know it is on my way.”
Me: “Hmmm, sounds a nice idea. OK come on lets go.”

Transformed into an Eskimo in the non-Arctic region stuffing myself under a pullover, a jacket on top of it, a muffler, hand gloves and went towards the parking area accompanied by Yogesh. Settled in the car and we roared off and just then Yogesh told me something, hearing which I went numb to my nerves. He had a night vision problem and finds it difficult to maneuver turns at night. My jaws dropped wide open, eyes burst out in bewilderment.

Me: “It’s a good joke, man.” It was just to relax the situation (actually myself) with this light statement and somber reaction.
Yogesh: “Had it been a joke.L”
Me: “What!!! you can’t be serious with this dude.”
Yogesh: “Come on Dude its very simple. I can drive straight with absolutely no problem but I find it difficult to locate the turns from a distance and hence can’t maneuver them. You can help me. You be alert, and tell me about the turns before hand. Tell me ‘TURN’ and I will turn. Direction is not a problem as I am well acquainted with the route.”
Me: “That is fine, but how the heck you manage to drive on other days. I am not there with you and you supposedly go alone.”
Yogesh: “I follow some car and manage it somehow. But today you can help me. Don’t worry buddy, it’s been over 6 months I have been managing.”
Me: “As if you will get an SMS Alert, Chances are high on your accident, be alert.”

Yogesh giggles, I manage to somehow gather myself and then start concentrating on the road. A turn was about to come. I had to alert him. ‘TURN’ I yelled.

Yogesh: “Take it easy dude; I am not sitting a mile away.”
Now how do I tell him how I was feeling? Anyways somehow he managed to take that turn. Then again the next turn was due. This time I was subtle and was surprised at my own normalcy. I have been accustomed to it. The driver is facing night vision problems, I am not confident on driving, he cannot easily spot turns and needs my help to maneuver them and I am accustomed to this!!!

But destiny rules otherwise and myself and Yogesh managed to take three other turns to rove into the Chinese restaurant in the 3B-2 market of Mohali. We parked the car and had dinner, myself trying to drift myself out of the bizarre experience I just had and the thought that he’s going to drop me back home. More turns!!!, I thought. Just tried to brush off the thought and concentrated on the dinner.

Some Weeks later.

Aparna: “Virag, Yogi do you guys mind going on a dinner tonight. We can go in Yogesh’s car, all three of us.”

I and Yogesh stared at each other in bewilderment. Whether to tell her or not was the million dollar question. Yogesh looked at me as if telling me, What to do?

Aparna: “What happened guys, are we going or not.”

The idea was very fascinating, another chance to get relief from the bore food, and a chance to have some hot soup in this winter.

Me: “Let’s go, since we have Yogesh’s car, we can go.”

Yogesh nodded winking at me, I reciprocated the gesture.

And so the terrific trio froze inside the four wheeler and zoomed off into the heavy fog. When we had last ventured out, winter had just started to set in, hence there was little or no fog, but almost 3 weeks had passed since that last drive and this time the fog was heavy and visibility was low. Aparna was elated as Yogesh finally gave her a ride in the car, she had desired for so long. But this time the challenge was threefold. Firstly the night vision problem of Yogesh was there and its gravity had been magnified with the presence of the fog, but these were manageable issues. A serious contender to the above two problems was the menace of tackling the female traveling with us, when the bitter fact is going to unfold itself inside the car. I could very well recall how badly she had reacted when she had accompanied me on my beast, some months back. I had newly learnt bike-driving and just started to try myself in the mediocre traffic of Mohali-Chandigarh, but the situation being unavoidable, had to take her and after the ride I had vowed I am never going to take her with me, come what may. The same thoughts were pestering both of us. For now we had just set off on the straight road outside office, where a turn was about to materialize in about 600-700 meters.

Yogesh: “Yaar viru, tell me when to take the turn, you can see the low level of visibility as well.”

Aparna was sitting in the rear seat of the Maruti 800 vehicle. She could not believe her ears, and lest she was aware of the stark realities that are going to stoop down upon her in the next couple of minutes. Somehow she spoke.

Aparna: “What did you just say Yogi, Virag is going to tell you when to take a turn!!!”
Me: “It is simple Aparna, I will tell him when the turn nears up and then he will just turn the wheel”
Aparna: “I understand Virag, the visibility is below normal levels due to the fog, but still I do not see any reason of not being able to spot a turn”
Me: “Only if you do not have any night vision problems.”
Me: “’TURN’”

My tone was near loud, but Yogesh could understand that I was in conversation with Aparna and appreciated the tepidity with which I had reacted having spotted the turn, by his silent grin. Yogesh maneuvered the turn but the car went a little off the track. I warned.

Me: “Buddy we are going to bang in the footpath, stop now.”

Yogesh was quick, he slammed the brakes, pressed down the clutch in the clutches of the car chamber, brought the gear to REAR position and slowly released the clutch, and the vehicle started moving back, when I yelled, “STOP, SOUND HORN, THERE’S A CAR.” Yogesh obliged with the perfectly timed reaction and we stepped out to see what had happened. Luckily we were still a good 6-7 inches away from the other car. The other driver started cursing us. We realized it was our mistake and immediately apologized, pacified him and he went away. Back in the vehicle, Yogesh brought the car on track and we started again. Aparna had lost all her cool by now. She has somehow managed to be quiet all this while, although it had just been 5 minutes for everything to happen. Looked like an age had descended on us. Now it was her turn to speak.

Aparna: “STOP THE CAR. What the hell is this going on? Do you guys realize a little mistake might have cost us our lives and limbs? You take everything so lightly, if any casualty happens, who do you expect to turn up for our help at this hour in this deserted street and that too in such a cold and foggy weather. You two were well aware of the problems and yet you chose not to tell me, and what did you expect, I am going to pat your shoulders saying WELL DONE BOYS!!!”

By the time showdown reached its climax the next turn was on its way. I and Yogesh had been staring at each other, when I suddenly yelled, harder this time than the first time I had done so traveling alone with Yogesh, TURNNNNNNNNNNNN.

This time turned the vehicle and stopped it by the side. Despite near zero mercury levels outside, the temperature of the ambience inside the car was no less than the SAHARA in May. Aparna was in a state of shock. Poor thing, she knew she had no choice other than praying and sit inside despite her unwillingness. We tried to pacify her.

Me: “Aparna I know I should have told you this earlier, but I was just in no mood to distort the celebration mood you had injected in us suggesting the dinner. And I had been with Yogesh before as well and our chemistry was just perfect. I used to tell him about the turn and he would successfully manage it.”

Yogesh: “And you know this fog is more today, we were not aware of it inside the office and once we had started I was in no mood to retort and I also thought we will manage. But anyway see we all are safe now. Please do not spoil your mood. Cheer up I promise I will drive safely and we can have a memorable dinner together.”

Me: “Hey we can go to her place and pick up her camera to make this evening more memorable. Anyways her place is on the way.”

Aparna: “That means more turns and more synchronization required. No please, I will try not to spoil my mood, we will go for the dinner, but this is the last time I am going with you guys on a dinner.”

Yogesh winked at me. The trick of suggesting the camera had worked. When you want someone to be with you despite willingness, the best way is to suggest the person two alternatives, the one with lesser stake will be the chosen one. Who said, psychology was an undefined science. So finally we all were sitting on the table, pondering over the menu. Yogesh had managed all the turns henceforth beautifully; of course, I also had to take the credit of warning him at the right time for the upcoming turn. And by the time the dinner ended, Aparna was back in her cheery element, thanks to the wonderful stupid jokes, I and Yogesh cracked throughout the dinner.

Today's Woman

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

Jahnavi gets up at 5 in the morning. She has got two hours with herself before her office cab will be arriving to pick her up. Before that she has to prepare the breakfast and make preliminary lunch preparations in addition to the daily chores. Some days will be more hectic when she might have to cater to a couple of e-mails as well from office. It will take an hour’s ride to the office and it is no less hectic after reaching there. Working with one of the top-notch software companies in the world, workload is never less. Being in the troubleshooting department, issues can come up any moment. Meetings need to be organized, juniors have to assigned work, boss wants the updates on critical issues and so many other issues needs to be handled. Jahnavi does all this with a firm resolve. The day’s work is wound up by evening and she has to take the evening 6:30 cab to reach home. In the evening’s traffic she will reach home by 8 or 8:30, and after reaching there she has to again cook. Her dad is waiting for her to return. She is fully exhausted and stressed out with the hectic day in office and also has a long list of chores pending before she can blink an eye. After cooking and finishing off in the kitchen she has to prepare for her GMAT and also finish some pending office e-mails. By the time everything finishes, it is almost 12 midnight. Tired she goes to bed. But sleep eludes her as she has got one more thing to worry about. She has got to think of something about Siddharth, her estranged husband, who is trying his level best to bring her back but she cannot stand him a moment in her life. Her parents, her cousins, some of her close friends, all have been trying to convince her to give Siddharth one more chance. But Jahnavi, who is completely shattered and disillusioned with Siddharth’s indifference, insensitivities and a one-sided relationship, is fighting her fight alone. So it seems it is like an agony being a woman, a working woman. We will come back to Jahnavi, but before that let us have a look at Kamini.

Kamini on the other hand, has just finished her college in Arts and is nowadays at home. She is the only daughter of her parents and has been pampered a lot since childhood and all her wishes have been fulfilled even before she sneezes. She has a younger brother as well. She is very arrogant, stubborn and ill-disciplined. Just after she finishes her studies, her parents find a match for her. A software engineer, working in an MNC in Bangalore and he is the only son of his parents. Jignesh is a dream son-in-law for anyone as he is a very family oriented person and wants to give his family nothing but the best. But Kamini has her own dreams, getting married to a software engineer working in am MNC, having a decent salary, owning a flat in his own name in Bangalore, all she could think of is a life full of luxury with no restrictions. She also had this confidence in herself and in her so called “Love Gestures”, that she would be able to convince Jignesh to live separately from his parents. Her parents also coaxed Jignesh beyond limits to achieve this goal. But Jignesh was a hard client. He would never do something that his conscience does not allow him to and strongly objects to Kamini’s and her parents’ unjust demands. They subject him and his innocent parents to mayhem of mental cruelty by not only maligning them socially but also going to the extent of filing false criminal cases against Jignesh and his parents and force them to come to a compromise. But Jignesh is a fighter and vows to fight back but does not give in. And so it may seem like it is an ecstasy being a woman as the law allows her to get as vicious as she wants and can have the confidence of making her unjust demands conceded to by shedding crocodile tears and unleashing a string of fabricated lies. But little does Kamini know that she herself is her biggest enemy. Time will teach this lesson to her.

So here we have two different women. Jahnavi who has given everything she could do to not only make her relation work, but also to prove that a girl can handle office and home simultaneously. And we have Kamini who has only known to lie and shed crocodile tears to gather false sympathy and trap Jignesh. Jahnavi knows very well that in the current legal system she can easily force Siddharth for a divorce, but she is a woman of substance and principles, who will not want her husband to go through legal hassles, and neither will she ever separate a son from his mother, “because a mother is a mother”. These are two examples of “Today’s Woman”, or is this title itself a misnomer. They are just examples of the different facets of the “The Fairer Sex”, and since it relates to the timeline of “Today”, may be it is convenient to refer to them as “Today’s Woman”. But it is not the woman alone. Kamini could not have done all this without her parents’ illegal support and faulty upbringing. Jahnavi’s parents also realize that their daughter is not happy with Siddharth, still they are advising her to re-consider him, for they know it takes a moment to break and years to make. And is it not the fact their upbringing is also reflected in the fact that Jahnavi, though disillusioned by Siddharth, still wants the divorce to go through peacefully. She is fighting with her parents for Siddharth’s sake. Hats off to Jahnavi and her parents. In spite of these agonies Jahnavi should take pride in her strength wherein she has put herself at stake for the betterment of people she loves. To me it is an Ecstasy being Jahnavi and an Agony being Kamini.

It is in the genes

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

First time readers, please refer to the post Life or Years? for reference.

Dr. Suresh was a veteran on psychology and had gained useful insights into the human psychology; his wonderful take on the subject was the result of his 25 years of experience in this field. Being an open minded person, everyday was a learning experience for him and he used to discuss his readings and observations with Dr. Amitesh. Today was no special. So they meet over the coffee.
Dr. Suresh: “So how are your ischiophagus conjoined parasitic twins?”
Dr. Amitesh: “It does not need to be that funny.”

The medical camaraderie between the two was marvelous. Amitesh was a cardiac surgeon while Suresh was a psychologist, yet both of them shared a common belief that the human anatomy works more on psychology than medicines.

Dr. Suresh: “I know, so where do we stand at their position, are we in a position to answer their relatives confidently?”
Dr. Amitesh: “Such occurrences are rare in our life.”
Amitesh grinned. Suresh agreed, Amitesh continued.
Dr. Amitesh: “Well here we are in a pretty sound position, we have been successfully instrumental in isolating the vital shared organs like, lungs, kidney, gall bladder and small intestine and restoring blood flow in them, but she is still in a critical condition, on incubator.
Dr. Suresh: “Hmmm, sounds sweet, hopefully success should follow after this.”
Dr. Amitesh: “What’s the situation at your end? How are the alters?”
Dr. Suresh: “Well, I have sent her on a vacation for now, we need to do a hypnotic session on her using Sodium Amytal and talk to her alters so that we can get to know, the causes behind their emergence and occurrence but for that Natasha will have to undergo a lot. Also if she admits that she has a problem and is ready for treatment, all the more easy. You know what, Amitesh, I envy you guys sometimes. The fine line between mine and your patients is that your patients come and tell you your problems and they are aware that there are some problems that need treatment. My patients have to be convinced first, in majority of cases, that there are some problems which need treatment. And once they are convinced about the illness, we have to convince them that it is curable and the cure largely lies with the patients. We need to be more patient than the patients and at times we ourselves feel like one.”
Dr. Suresh grins, Dr. Amitesh follows suit in agreement.

Dr. Amitesh: “I agree, Suresh. If a problem is physical, it’s easier to handle. Mental problems are very difficult to handle as they need evidences to be proven otherwise or vice-versa which may not be so handy in many cases, like cases of delusional disorders or hallucinations.”
Dr. Suresh: “It’s all in the mind and the genes you know.”

Now this startled Amitesh, the mention of genes jostled him.

Dr. Amitesh: “I beg to differ on your take on genes.”
Dr. Suresh gives a smile.
Dr. Suresh: “It’s all there in the genes. They are not just the blueprint of a person and a species but they are much more than that. They are carriers of information across generations. Whatever has been endured and experienced by the previous generation will be immunized in the current generation. Its nature’s rule, this is the way evolution works. You see these days we see more and more girls shedding the typical domestic engineer’s role and accepting challenges and working towards their empowerment and financial independence. We see more and more youngsters rebelling against their parents to take the career of their choice, to marry the person of their own choice and leading a life of their own choice.”

Dr. Amitesh: “I agree. But that should again work for a particular community or a person.”
Dr. Suresh: “We need to understand the genetic codes and its mechanism. My vast experience on psychology related cases and my own observations compelled me to dig deep into this. Genes work at various levels and dimensions like personal level, species level, chronological dimension, spatial dimension and of course at the intersection of the inheritance level and dimension. At a personal level, the genes as transferred evolve according to the experiences and the off springs are more developed and advanced. At a species level the change is very slow and the whole species over a span of multiple generations evolves to a better species with better survival strategies, for e.g. the mosquitoes, you see with the advancement of more and more techniques to control them, the species has also become immune to these repellants. And we need stronger repellants to drive them away effectively. This is genetic evolution.

Dr. Amitesh: “Interesting. Nice take on genes I agree. Also as we are expanding in urbanization and we see more and more people travelling and settling down in new places, a new trend is coming up. People from far off places are coming in touch with each other and when they get married and produce prodigies, this new generation has a far better intellect and grasping power. This again is a result of cross-breeding of various cultures and the intermixing of wide and varied and geographically spanned genetic historic recordings. And what do you think is the cause of the rise in psychological cases these days. On a lighter note this trend should entertain you, but how do you like to put it in terms of genes?”

Dr. Suresh: “As far as my bread and butter are concerned, I have had enoughJ, but this is an alarm. We are on the verge of a genetic revolution. It will be hard to put everything in words here, but I got a nice analogy from my son who is a Computer Science & Engineering student and was discussing that day with me an interesting problem. In their jargon they call it The Producers and the Consumers Problem.

Dr, Amitesh: “Wow I see the rivers of different knowledge domains mixing to give a sea of realization and information. So what have you deduced from The Producers and the Consumers Problem.

Dr. Suresh: “This problem simply says there is a producer that produces some entity and there is a consumer that consumes the entity and there is a buffer that maintains the gap between production and consumption. The producer produces the entity and places it in the buffer and the consumer consumes from that. Whenever the rate of production supersedes the rate of consumption we have the Buffer Overrun problem and whenever the rate of consumption surpasses the rate of production we have the Buffer Underrun problem. Both of these are fatal in appropriate scenarios and need to be handled effectively for their systems to run flawlessly.

Dr. Amitesh: “Nice.”

Dr. Suresh: “The relation between the genes and psychology is also the similar. The tepidity with which the evolutions and the environmental conditions are changing, the genes are not able to respond properly and they start behaving abnormally and hence we see whatever we are witnessing. More delusional disorders, more hallucinations, more Near-Death-Experiences, more stress levels, more tensions, more blood pressure related problems, and in short more mental and hormonal disorders.

Dr. Amitesh: “True and it seems the solution is far lagging behind in the race as compared to the problems. But anyways had a nice discussion today though. Quite an enlightening one. I will have to leave now, let’s see how are the twins doing? Catch you up later.”

Dr. Suresh: “Yeah sure, carry on.”

Life or Years?

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

Natasha woke up and found herself in a hotel room. She was shabbily dressed and was not able to recollect how she had landed in this room. She saw the menu card lying there, and read the name of the hotel, “Nandan Van, FC road Pune”. Pune!!!, how come I reached Pune from Bangalore! She thought. But she was not at all able to recollect the last 2 days of her life. And again on returning back to Bangalore, the same fear followed her, someone stalking her. This fear was killing her and she was not able to concentrate. She walked straight into the chamber of Dr. Suresh Malhotra. After listening carefully to her, and her problems of her fears of being stalked, her complete loss of memory over elongated periods sometimes extending to weeks and people around her trying to remind her of instances, of which she is completely unaware of and sometimes finding herself in places, she had never thought of visiting or any remembrance of how she reached there, Dr. Suresh could conclude only one thing, the presence of alters in Natasha. She was a victim of a psychological disorder called Dissociative Identity Disorder, better known as the Multiple Personality Disorder to the layman. This was further corroborated with the fact that people have sometimes addressed Natasha as Nisha, Nausheen and Rosemary. The problem was grave, Dr. Suresh thought, 4 alters. He thought. But this was not the right time to disclose. He just told Natasha that she was overworked and needed rest. He advised her to go on a vacation, thus buying time to work on the case. After she left, the problem persisted. Dr. Suresh was pondering over it.

In the evening he met his pal Dr. Amitesh Mehra, who was talking about a case of “ischiophagus conjoined parasitic twins”, a rare case of conjugal Siamese twins, where the child has two pairs of limbs, hands and the other twin is residing inside the host, sharing nutrition, kidney, anal channel and excretory channels. Dr. Suresh was bewildered at hearing it. Nature had its own way of performing miracles he thought. On one side he had a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, where the person herself was not aware of the existence of three other personalities residing within who take up turns to make her perform things she’d never imagined. Also when the alters (the personalities, Nisha, Nausheen and Rosemary better referred to as alters henceforth) took control Natasha was lost, a personality, a part of Natasha was lost. On the other side he was hearing a case of parasitic twins, where a real physical person resided inside another, two personalities, completely distinct, sharing space and nutrition.

Dr. Suresh: “So how do you think are you going to cure the parasitic twins?”
Dr. Amitesh: “We will operate on them and separate them through surgery. The operation may take anything between 28 – 35 hrs, depending on how well the patient responds to the treatment. Also we have other issues like tissue growth and kidney transplant, the parasitic twin is drawing nutrition from the host. Alimentary canal and the breathing duct also need to be separated.”
Dr. Suresh: “Seems complex but at least you have something physical and concrete to work on.”
Dr. Amitesh: “What’s the matter with you?”
Dr. Suresh told him of the case of Natasha. Although multiple personality disorder has a rich history and literature, it is a practically incurable disease so far with no guarantee on the timeline. It all depends on the origin of the personalities and the very fact that patients sometimes refuse treatment, on grounds that they are not ill and no personality resides within them. Dr. Suresh thought how different personality development is from the case of parasitic twins. Not very much except for the fact that the two personalities in the parasitic twins case have a separate physical existence, here the same person assumes different roles, portrays altogether different personas. But parasitic twins do not harm anybody. But people with multiple personality are rarely harmless. Natasha can be very harmful, it will be very necessary to dig into her past and know the reasons that have given rise to these alters in her. But that being a cumbersome and lengthy process, void of any guarantee of success even after elongated psychotherapist sessions, Dr. Suresh was getting wary over it, when he heard Dr. Jaya Mathur speaking to someone on phone,

Jaya: “After listening to your case, it seems the person is suffering from BorderLine Personality Disorder.” Dr. Suresh was alarmed hearing the words, BorderLine Personality Disorder. Another psychological disorder which wreaks havoc on the life of the patients and the loved ones of the patient.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is defined as a personality disorder primarily characterized by emotional dysregulation, extreme "black and white" thinking, or "splitting", and chaotic relationships. Their mood swings like a pendulum and they can love someone till eternity in a moment and at the very next moment they hate them to the extent of posing any harm to them. Dr. Suresh was thinking about all this and thought how psychological disorders had led to most of the problems in today’s life. The most alarming fact was the rise in the number of such cases with modernization and urbanization. This was surely related to the increase in the stress level of the population. The average income of an individual has no doubt increased manifold, but as they say, everything has a price; the increase in income brought with itself an increased paranoia to invite more and more stress in life. Today as we see youngsters starting their earnings with thousands, magnitude times with what their fathers started, but living standards have shown a dramatic downfall. They might have added years to life, but have not added life to years.

Negativity works

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

X: “Hey you know A, she seeing B these days.”
Y: “Oh really!!! how come you know about it?”
X: “I had been closely following the two, and then rounded up A over it, initially she was hesitant but I was insistent, and she succumbed, admitted to having seeing him, but says they are JUST FRIENDS and that’s it.”
Y: “Oh I see. Interesting.”
X: “But it stays between us, right? I’d promised A not to disclose this to anyone, but you know we share everything, so just told YOU.”
Y: “Yeah don’t worry.”

Both of them sign each other off exchanging pleasantries. Exactly similar conversation takes place after some time between X & Z and Y & W.

X: “Hi, blah blah blah”
Z: “blah blah blah”
X: “But it stays between us, right? I’d promised A not to disclose this to anyone, but you know we share everything, so just told YOU.”
Z: “Yeah don’t worry.”
Y: “Hi, blah blah blah”
W: “blah blah blah”
Y: “But it stays between us, right? I’d promised A not to disclose this to anyone, but you know we share everything, so just told YOU.”
W: “Yeah don’t worry.”

so on and so forth, the word spreads. Almost every body comes to know about the on going JUST FRIENDSHIP between A and B. B does not like it. Men never like it and women do not want it to happen but it still happens. And it happened here because A trusted X and confided about her relationship to B but on condition of concealment. X promised but went back on her words. And then the same thing happened with Y, he also went back on his words and so went back all those W’s, Z’s et al. who not only spread the word about the relationship of A and B but also other stories started making rounds. A and B remained the hot topic of discussion in the office for some days until someone said that the VP had been seen at a dinner at the Taj with his secretary and the focus of gossip shifted, a hotter topic was available, but in this case there was neither any element of concealment present, nor its presence justified, but in the earlier case A had told X not to disclose, but still X did, so what prompted X to do so?

Jealousy towards A for having gotten B, excitement, anxiety, some grudge against either of A or B or some other cause. Well all of the above causes do find their respective share of justification in the explanation for X’s behavior, but still all the above are circumstantial, the presence of which might / might not have triggered the spreading of rumors as also all / some / none of the causes might again not apply to the behavior of the Y’s, W’s et al. So there has to be some sort of commonality in the behavior pattern and so arises the obvious question as to what is it?

Well the answer is ‘Its negativity’. The element of negativity in all the conversations is fairly obvious yet unnoticed. Let us have a look at the following statements.

But it stays between us, right? I’d promised A not to disclose this to anyone, but you know we share everything, so just told YOU.

This is the negativity involved. X thinks, why is A telling this to me. And there is an element of forbiddingness in the statement that provokes. As a natural tendency human beings tend to do forbidden things first hand. If history is to be believed then supposedly this element of negativity explains the propagation of human race. Eve was forbidden to eat the APPLE, but the element of negativity in the forbiddingness compelled her to do the FIRST SIN and rest is history and ever since it has been this element of negativity that has served as the driving force between all the major events so far, constructive or destructive.

As a destructive tool it is the easiest method to spread rumors and falsities about anyone. The statement, “DO NOT TELL ANYONE” is a self-provoking one. It sparks a plethora of questions, the first one being, “If it is not meant to be told to ANYBODY, then WHY AM I THE CHOSEN ONE.” and some other obvious questions as well, “What are the implications if I spread / keep mum / or discuss with someone in private. The first two options might seem a little dramatic, but the third option most often rules the roost.

Discuss with someone in private, but the irony here is that paradox involved in the underlying negativity element which slowly includes everyone in the ambit of someone and the word is out. But negativity is not about spreading rumors or a mere characteristic behavioral pattern of gossip-mongers. It has many positive effects as well. The mandate of negativity is to generate curiosity and this can work in a constructive manner as well.

Let us get back to the start of the world. What if negativity did not exist in human nature and Eve had not taken that APPLE, Adam and Eve would never have participated in the first ever creation process and human race would not have propagated. It was the negativity element in Eve’s nature that she, on being forbidden to have the apple, got provoked, had it and then time witnessed expansion of human race. So is negativity a boon in disguise? A question too hard to answer. Even in mathematics the sign for positive ‘+’ is formed by crossing the sign for negative ‘-‘, which clearly shows the endowment of EVIL prior to the bestowment of GOOD.

The Rose and the Stem

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

Mary was in a fix. She loved Aditya very much and he too loved her and both of them had decided to tie the knot. But she had not told her father about it. Being motherless since childhood, her father meant her world to her. He had been both a mother and a father to her. Mary wanted both Aditya and her father Joseph, but the possibility looked remote as Joseph had a wish to get a good Christian husband for his daughter and it would be hard to convince him for Aditya, but Aditya was irresistible for Mary. She could no longer take the guilt of having let down her father for falling for a man outside Christianity, as Joseph had always boasted about Mary’s principles in the community. She decides to confess and heads towards the church. Her mind is set on fire, a tsunami raging in her breaths; she is racing through the Saint Anthony’s Church and finally reaches the confession box. She looked around the walls of the confession chamber, they seem to be cursing her you have befallen yourself in your father’s esteem; they seemed to be telling her. The walls seemed enclosing her and she was getting drowned in her own self-remorse and guilt and from inside her conscience was biting her. She felt like running away from the confession box, when a voice soothed her down. Father John’s voice was like honey to an ailing patient.

Father: “Tell me my child, what pesters you?”
Mary: “Father I want to confess something, I have done something terrible. I can’t believe I could have done something like this.”
Father: “Relax my child, HE is very generous. Spell out your heart. HE is there, HE shall guide you.”
Mary: “Father, I lost my mother in childhood, I do not remember her face now. I was just 2 years old when she died in an accident. Since then my father has taken care of me and he has been a darling father any daughter could have. I have never felt the loss of my mom as he has been both a father and a mother.”

She stopped for a while. She had to gather strength to spell her heart out. The priest consoled her.
Father: “Do not worry my child, have faith on HIM. Tell me whatever you want to. I am sure HE will guide us.”
The words poured lifeblood into her suffocating soul. She regained strength.

Mary: “He always taught me values, principles, truthfulness and strong adherence to Christianity. He had also cherished a small wish to get me a good Christian Husband. But I love Aditya, Father. I love him very much and he too loves me very much and also respects my father’s wish a lot. Now I am confused how to convince my father about Aditya as I know he might agree if I act stubborn but he will be torn inside. But my love for Aditya is pure father. I am feeling so bad that I failed myself as a daughter.”

Her tears, breaking the dam of self-control, reflected the shadow of her pain and her agony. Father John tried to pacify her.

Father: “My child you are just in love. You have not done anything wrong. HE does not teach you just to love people from your religion nor does HE teaches you not to love people outside Christianity. HE is the messiah who is here to spread the message of love. You have not committed any SIN my dear child. Come out of the self-remorse and guilt. Love is a very great and pure feeling, my child, and it knows no boundaries in terms of caste, creed, religion and such man made human dividers. So please do not think you have not acted as per HIS wish.”

Mary was feeling a little better but still she was thinking as to why life had become so difficult for her.

Mary: “I know Father, I fully agree with you. But why is Life so difficult. I had taken it lightly; I was blindly following the fragrance of the rose and forgot that it has thorns as well.”

Father: “My child life is very much like a rose. It is beautiful, spreads fragrance and adds grandeur by its presence and is a symbol for the establishments of new relationships but it has thorns as well.”

Mary was listening dumbfounded. Father John continued.

Father: “The beauty, the fragrance et al of the rose is the happiness in our life and the thorns symbolize the unwanted grief in our life. So if you see the flower of rose, its beauty, fragrance and its thorns are always present. Similarly, happiness and grief are always present in life. We are so much astounded by the goodies of the rose that we tend to ignore the thorns until it pricks us when we take it in our hands carelessly. Same with life, we take life so easily that we tend to ignore the problems in life. Had we viewed the rose flower in its totality, taking into accounts its beauty as well its thorns, and had handled it carefully holding its stem properly, we could have enjoyed its beauty and at the same time escaped the pain of its thorns’ prick. Similarly if we take life seriously, and not ignore its problems and take into account the fact that problems and happiness are part and parcel of life and they just need to be handled properly. So now coming back to your problem all I can say is remove your guilt from yourself as you have just loved and that is no SIN my dear. Your father also loves you very much, tell your heart to him sincerely and he shall understand. Give him his time as he will be parting with his life’s savings.”

Mary: “Thank you very much Father, I shall remember your words. You have lightened my burden. Thank you so much Father.”

Father John gave a sweet smile and left from there.

A new and transformed Mary left the premises of the Saint Anthony’s Church that day. She was beaming with joy as she had learnt so many things today. Indeed problems and happiness are always present and we just need to handle it properly. Hold the stem at the proper place, enjoy the beauty and escape the thorns.

Bitterness - A form of Love?

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

Tring Tring!!!!

Jignesh calling. Jahnavi’s heart always skipped a beat seeing Jignesh’s name on the calling screen of her mobile. And Jignesh would never miss any of her calls even if it meant to stop his bike while and attend to the call, or even an SMS. Were they laying more importance on each other than needed? No, absolutely not, both of them needed this importance, though they always maintained a stand contrary to this to each other. Do not give me so much of importance. Gathering herself, she picked up the call.

Jahnavi: “Hello!!!”

The words spelled magic and poured honey into Jignesh’s ears. It was like an oasis in a desert.
Jignesh: “Hi, what’s up?”
Jahnavi: “Nothing, I am in office.”
Jignesh: “Can we meet in the evening?”
Jahnavi: “Ummm, ok.”

Jignesh had been mustering courage for the meeting since the past few days. How on earth is he going to tell this to Jahnavi that they will not be meeting after today, probably not or at least they are not going to talk on phone. They will be buddies, but buddies that’s it, might be chatting, blogging and commenting on each other’s posts. It was not all happy in Jignesh’s family about his getting close to a non-Gujarati girl, so he had to take a decision. Either tell his family that he cannot give up on Jahnavi and lose all credibility or tell Jahnavi to sever ties with him forever so that there are no problems in his family. But Jignesh has been known to find alternative and un-thought of solutions to serious problems. He knew Jahnavi would understand him, and support him. He was waiting for her in the corridor, thinking about how to put his thoughts across, just when he saw the hurried steps of Jahnavi racing towards him.

Jahnavi: “Hi, how are you? How was the day?”
Jignesh: “I am fine. The day was fine. How was yours?”
Jahnavi: “Hmm it was OK types. So tell me, what is it? your breath sounded a bit tensed.”
Jignesh: “Yeah…. actually, just wanted to ask you….”

Words were playing games with Jignesh, or was he trying to play some games. Jahnavi was petrified knowing that still Jignesh needed to think before speaking to her. Though she fought off her irritation, and put it straight across to him, as she knew it had to be only one matter.

Jahnavi: “Everything’s fine at home I guess?”

Jignesh was almost taken aback, Can she read my thoughts, telepathy!!!. The thought was both a boon and a bane for him. Boon as half of the work was done, she knew the matter at least, it will be easy to carry over from here, but the bane part of it was more perilous as it highlighted how close they were emotionally, mentally, spiritually and it will be all the more difficult for them to increase distances. But who said Life is easy. He had to carry on and so was the case with Jahnavi as well. She had a tougher life he thought. He had always thought this.

Jignesh: “No, not everything is fine. Actually that’s why I called you to say, we might not be able to continue the way we have been going. We need to increase distances, if you want me to put it straight.”
Jahnavi: “Hmm I can understand Jignesh. I had been fearing this day will come soon. Good that it came while I was unprepared, otherwise you know the fears of a lurking danger are more fatal. It is OK….”

She almost fought her tears, damn it. Do not pour out now, I will grant you a more private moment, she seemed to be telling to her tears. This time they obeyed.

Even Jignesh was no less aware of the mental condition of Jahnavi. He also thanked her tears, otherwise it would have been more difficult. He took control of the situation, using Jahnavi’s words to console her.

Jignesh: “I will not call this just love as it limits our relationship and this is what we don’t want to do. You only told me that ours is a complete relation which covers all aspects of a relation between not just a male and a female but between two individuals. And is it some kind of a rule or what, that whenever there’s Love between an unrelated male / female it has to have a romantic angle. I do not have any qualms saying that Love exists although there exists no logical explanation to justify its existence. And in the absence of such an explanation, society just picks up the easiest one, ROMANCE, huh?”

Both of them were surprised at the flow of words coming from Jignesh. Jahnavi had at least not expected this. But Jignesh had more to say. He continued. Jahnavi listened, awestruck.

Jignesh: “The easiest way for this is Bitterness, Jahnavi. If I start getting bitter with you, things can be easier, right? But the saddest part is that even our bitterness for each other is nothing but another manifestation of our love for each other. Life has been such that we are better off handling bitterness, so by being bitter to each other we are just helping the other person cope with the situation. Making life easy for the other person. Paving a way to generate strength for the other person. Is it not our love for each other? To me it is, and staying away is also a form of LOVE. We are burning ourselves as fuels to lighten each others lives. What purer form of LOVE other than this can exist Jahnavi tell me?”

Jahnavi had drifted to a different world. She was in total awe of this person standing in front of her and was rendered speechless by his views. She started respecting him all the more, not only because he used her views to explain himself, but also because Jignesh had acknowledged this relation with the emotion of LOVE. He could use this name, as normally men have a problem with this word. But Jignesh was unique and Jahnavi was proud of him. But she was not able to express her pride for him as it will make him weak and she did not want this to happen. Here again she was applying Jignesh’s principle only, Paving a way to generate strength for the other person.

Jahnavi: “Are you done with your lecture. Actually there’s no need for all this. You could have simply told me, ‘GO AWAY’ I would have happily deserted you. I am getting late. Thanks for everything so far.”

Jahnavi left from there. She wanted to compete with her tears. They should not step out before she steps in her room. Jignesh kept watching her till he could. All he could do is pass a smile, thinking at the tepidity with which Jahnavi had applied his thoughts to practicality. Indeed bitterness is the best and hitherto unexplored form of LOVE. Make the life of your beloved a little bit easier without you, when you know, the current logistics do not allow you to be together.

The Sensation of Touch

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

Prologue: A small kid, Jignesh is sitting in his class. He is in the sixth standard and the Life Science is going on. The teacher is taking lessons on the “Sense Organs”

Teacher: “Students we have 5 sense organs.
1. Eyes (The sensation of Vision)
2. Ears (The sensation of Hearing)
3. Nose (The sensation of Smell)
4. Tongue (The sensation of Taste) and last but not the least
5. Skin (The sensation of Touch)”

As the final words echoed around the acoustic peripheries of the room, there was one student amongst the rest who was getting emphatic about the whole thing and could not stop himself, and started chatting with his neighbor.

Jignesh: “Hey Andy, you are quite comfortable with girls tell me, how it feels when a girl touches?”
Andy: “This is not the right time, will talk to you over this later.”
Jignesh: “Hey tell no buddy, anyway this class is boring.”
Andy: “OK, it feels nice; you will enjoy the ‘TOUCH’, its totally different.”

The words reverberated in Jignesh’s mind for long but nothing happened. Years followed and Jignesh took up Science as his subject of interest and got interested in studying about the most interesting organ of human anatomy: THE HUMAN BRAIN. Axons, neurons, cerebral hemispheres: The Frontal Lobe, the Parietal Lobe, the Occipital Lobe, the Temporal Lobe. Of these the Parietal Lobe (perception of stimuli) was of primary importance to him as those words were still making rounds in the Temporal Lobe (memory) of his brain: it feels nice, you will enjoy the ‘TOUCH’, its totally different.

He was still thinking, “What is that is so enjoyable in a woman’s touch?” And started a chain of thoughts. Nostalgia was gripping the center stage in his Temporal Lobe. He started drifting down the memory lane.

He was able to see the serendipity of the Jahnavi’s soothing silhouette from the corridors of the college, standing there as an epitome of Indian beauty. And the burning desire of talking to Jahnavi getting the better of him he maneuvered his steps towards her. Aah who said there are no vibes? Jahnavi could very well feel them in the air that someone has just stopped staring at her and now that silhouette was moving close to her. But did anyone say that vibes transmit as well? Otherwise how in the midst of so much noise, could Kamini get a feel of what was going on. Jignesh goes up to Jahnavi. Aah what an encounter. The charisma of Jahnavi’s beauty melting in the eyes of Jignesh, but alas he’s a miser at words to express himself or his desire to befriend Jahnavi. But secretly, he wishes to shake hands with her saying a cheerful “Hello”, to experience that ‘TOUCH’ which Andy described to him 6-7 years ago, and essence of which has so far eluded him, thanks to his uncanny inability to open up with girls and thanks to his ‘BOOKWORM’ image. But today Jignesh had to muster that much needed dose of courage to speak up. He tried his level best to walk up to her, brushed aside by her shoulders, her arms exposed by the sleeveless cute pink kameez and slightly curtained by the soft silky orangish-yellow chunni spurned around her adding glistening charms to her majestic beauty like bioluminescent plankton giving attractive chimes in a fresh water pond. The effect of the brush was phenomenal. Andy was right. it feels nice; you will enjoy the ‘TOUCH’.

Jignesh: “Hi… I am…. I am so sorry, actually I didn’t mean to….. I was just going through my books…..
Barely could he speak, poor thing. He was not even aware how Jahnavi is going to react to this careful mistake of his.
Jahnavi: “It’s OKJ, no problem.”

Laughing at it, less at the careful mistake by Jignesh and his subsequent stammering apology, and more at the realization that secretly how much she had enjoyed that TOUCH. But alas, if expressiveness was Jignesh’s problem, inhibitions were hers. All she could do is pass away giving a smile to him. He stood there speechless, thinking whether he will ever be again able to talk to her.

“So how good are we?”

Siddharth’s words jolted Jignesh out of the reverie. Siddharth Oberoi, the mastermind on the research, “The Sensation of Touch” and also the financial backbone of the study was more than just a co-worker and financer of the project. He was Siddharth’s closest friend.

Jignesh: “Well pretty good, I think we should be in form in a couple of weeks, and then we can go public about it. I’ll show you a small sample. The Sensation of Touch is simply a chemical reaction. It’s more like a mental phenomenon. Of course there’s biochemistry behind it, the Na/K (Sodium / Potassium) cells have their pH altered and this triggers a chemical imbalance in the Central Nervous System with impulses traveling from the point of touch to the Parietal Lobe. All this happens in a fraction of nanoseconds. The touch sensation is analyzed there and the response for the stimuli is generated”

Siddharth: “Sorry to disturb you, Jignesh, but I feel this is going too technical, we need to stress more on psychological aspect of touch. Touch is one such sense which has so many beautiful meanings attached to it. Ever imagined what happens when you do not fair well in your exams, feel stressed out and your mother puts her hands on your head and all worries are driven away in a flash of a second as if someone’s magically let loose a fatal dose on your tensions. Its assurance from your mother, “Do not worry son, there’s always a next time.” We need to explore more on the relation that exists between those unspoken words that come associated with a touch. Have you ever wondered how elated one can feel when that romantic touch enthralls on him / her from the beloved, especially the effect is more pronounced when you think about the person and that person jolts you out of the reverie with that ‘TOUCH’. So how do you think this extra zing to the touch comes into play keeping in mind the sensitivities of the above mentioned scenarios. Its feelings, expectations, and attachments, Jignesh, that also play a very vital role in deciding the effect of the “The Sensation of Touch.” It is not merely those Na/k cells triggering the reactions in the Parietal Lobe, but it has also got a meta-physical and Para psychological aspect to it as well. Also when there’s an element of surprise associated with it all the more fun. Its like you want something, inhibiting to exhibit the desire, you get it and you rejoice.”

The words knocked hard at the Temporal Lobe (associated with memory) of Jignesh like a thunderbolt. Thoughts traveling down his memory lane, with the tepidity of hammerhead sharks traveling in a megaplume, at the sense of blood a mile away with their enhanced telencephalon olfactory lobes, and he was still standing there trying to gather him after that “brush” with Jahnavi.

Kamini had been watching the whole scenario dispassionately. She could sense the inability of Jignesh in expressing his desire and then the debacle, the careful mistake, the stammering apology and the enigmatic, revealing yet concealing smile of Jahnavi.

“Boys will always be boys”, she said, swirling down her sensuous fingers down Jignesh’s face line. The ‘TOUCH’ almost threw the ground off Jignesh’s feet. Little did he expect that the ‘TOUCH’ which has so far eluded will be showered upon him extravagantly the manner it was being showered.

Siddharth: “I hope you are getting my point Jignesh.”, placing a hand on Jignesh’s shoulders and Jignesh, dragged back to the present agreed that Siddharth was right. Definitely the Na/K cells played the technical role in the sensation of touch, but its effects were surely affected by the psychological state of the individual and other dynamics associated with the touch. More research needs to be done on this. Having said that he was again back to his college days. Jahnavi was simply too hard to ignore. Her flawless beauty compounded by her simplicity and her charismatic charm supplemented by her 1000 watts smile was a treat to an eye. Jignesh thought Jahnavi was just his dream and he could never strike a relationship with her. Moreover his hectic schedule in Science did not allow him to take out time for Jahnavi. But her thoughts always took him back to those lovely college days where he could at least see her. That sensation of her ‘TOUCH’ always remained afresh in his mind this research of his on ‘The Sensation of Touch’ had reminisced him of that essence innumerable times.